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Don't Go Broke in a Nursing Home When: Friday, May 1st at 10:00am When: Friday, May 1st at 2:00pm Where: Clifton Forge Public Library Where: Rockbridge Regional Library 535 Church St., Clifton Forge, Virginia 138 South Main St., Lexington, Virginia
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 Long Distance Grandparenting Today, millions of American families are separated by long distances that make daily, weekly or even monthly visits impossible. As a grandparent, you play an important role in your grandchild’s life; a role that can be challenged by distance. If you’re one of the many grandparents out there who is only able to see their grandchildren a few times a year, you probably want to make the most out of the time you have with them. Here are a few ideas for ways to bond with your grandchildren and make lasting memories. Arts and crafts Do you enjoy working with your hands? Kids love crafts, and a visit to your local craft store will provide you with endless inspiration for creations to share with your grandchildren. Here’s an idea: paint a birdhouse! Build your own or use a kit. The great thing about arts and crafts is that they result in a finished product that you and your grandchild can cherish for years to come.  Cooking
How handy are you in the kitchen? Sure, younger kids should keep a safe distance from the stove, but that doesn’t mean they can’t participate. Decorating cookies with colorful icing is sure to elicit squeals of joy from any young child. Check out cooking with kids for fun ideas in the kitchen. Games Did you know that play improves memory and problem solving skills? Playing has many benefits, and enjoyment is not the least of them. Simply playing with your grandchildren, whether it’s hide-and-seek, a puzzle or a checkers match, can be the best way to deepen your relationship. Hobbies Teaching is one of the most valuable gifts a grandparent can give their grandchild. Do you have a special hobby or skill to share? Passing down your own special interest is a great way to bond with your grandkids. Whatever it is you feel passionate about, sharing your hobbies with your grandchildren is like sharing a part of yourself.  The health benefits of taking life less seriously
Our sense of humor is one of the most powerful tools we have to stay in good health. Laughter decreases stress hormones and boosts the immune system. It even relieves physical tension by relaxing the whole body. Humor improves our mood and shifts perspective, helping us see our situation in a different light. But a study has shown that humor can do even more than that: it can be as effective as medication in treating agitation in patients with dementia, without the serious drug side effects. The study was conducted by the University of New South Wales, spanning thirty-six aged care facilities across Australia. Researchers employed a “humor practitioner,” not unlike a clown, to train staff how to incorporate playfulness and humor while engaging patients with dementia. The study showed a twenty percent reduction in agitation using humor therapy, which compares to the results expected with the common use of anti-psychotic drugs. Happiness and positive behaviors steadily improved during the course of the 12 week program and when humor practitioners left at the end of the program, these rates dropped. With dementia rates continuing to rise, specialized training and creative solutions may hold the key to improving our understanding toward the better care of patients. For more information about Humor Therapy, visit the Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor. Share with us! Tell us what gets you laughing in the comment section below, and spread the joy. May is National Elder Law Month! As a public service, we are offering two free seminars: "Don't Go Broke in a Nursing Home" When: Friday, May 1st at 10:00am When: Friday, May 1st at 2:00pm Where: Clifton Forge Public Library Where: Rockbridge Regional Library 535 Church St., Clifton Forge, Virginia 138 South Main St., Lexington, Virginia
 We don’t like to think about the fact that our parents may eventually need more care than we are able to provide. But the truth is, sometimes a nursing home is the best place for an aging parent when they come to need constant care and health professionals who can monitor their condition 24/7. Nursing home care can be essential and greatly beneficial, but the reality is that it can also be a crippling drain on a family’s finances.
About 7 out of 10 people over age 65 will need long-term care. The national average cost for a private room in a nursing home is $83,580 a year, according to the Department of Health and Human Services. The average nursing home stay is 2 ½ years and about 30% of people entering a nursing home will stay there for 5 years or more. How can a family pay $83,580 a year for five years or more? These prices make financing high college tuitions look like a piece of cake. Often, an aging parent in a nursing home feels forced to spend all their life savings and sell their house to pay the bills. That means that children lose both their inheritance and their family home. Then, once the money runs out, the aging parent finally qualifies for Medicaid assistance. Medicaid starts paying the bills, and the parent receives the exact same care as before. It doesn’t have to be this way- especially with a little advance planning- and now is the time to start. Let me give you an example of why planning in advance can be of such great benefit. When an aging parent applies for Medicaid, if they have given a gift within the last five years they will be required to wait a penalty period before they can qualify for assistance. The length of the penalty period depends on the amount of the gift, and the exact calculation varies from state to state and sometimes within a state. For example, a gift of $30,000 in most areas of Virginia will make a penalty period of about 5 months. During the penalty period the parent will not be qualified for Medicaid assistance and will be forced to pay for nursing home care out-of-pocket. This penalty period is important to understand as soon as possible, because if a parent is able to transfer their property or savings out of their name five years in advance of their needing nursing home care, that means they can qualify for Medicaid more quickly and whatever they gifted will be safe from the clutches of the nursing home. But be careful! The rules of Medicaid qualification are very complex, unforgiving and often misunderstood, which is why every aging individual should consult with an elder law attorney about how they should approach giving gifts. There are many ways to be disqualified for Medicaid, and only an experienced elder law attorney will be able to assess what’s best for your situation. The good news is that the earlier you start planning, the more you will be able to save. Visit our Medicaid Planning page to learn more about how we can help protect what’s yours from nursing home costs. We offer a free consultation to those who wish to begin planning today. See AARP Magazine's article, Retire to a Good Life for Less, for a list of 10 low-cost cities where you can live big for very little.
 Me (left) and Mary Cail (right) at the VA Festival of the Book Alzheimer's: A Crash Course for Friends and Relatives, by Mary Cail, is an insightful resource for anyone who is touched by a life affected by Alzheimer's disease or another form of dementia. It is especially pertinent for friends of caregivers. Let me start by saying that Dr. Cail is a brilliant speaker. I was privileged to attend her talk at the Virginia Festival of the book last month in Charlottesville, Virginia, where she offered a rare honesty into her life and motivations. Based on the concept of an "All-Weather Friend," Dr. Cail's book was born in the aftermath of her own personal struggles. At the time of her grieving after the loss of her husband, she wished for a book that could explain this kind of hardship to those who haven't experienced it in their own lives, so that they could be a better friend to someone they love in the throws of a personal tragedy. So Dr. Cail went on to write that book in the context of Alzheimer's; a debilitating disease that forces caregivers to face countless losses when caring for someone they love. Dr. Cail encourages us to imagine what it would be like to be diagnosed with Alzheimer's. This is a powerful exercise in empathy. It's helpful, she says, for people trying to figure out how to be supportive in this situation to understand and recognize the stages and symptoms of the disease.  During her talk Dr. Cail offered 5 tips for being an all-weather friend:
1. Recognize the realities. Denying or downplaying someone's condition can have hurtful results. It's best to practice honest compassion. 2. Tell, don't ask, about the recent past. Don't make conversation by asking about recent activities, as those suffering from Alzheimer's often cannot make those recollections. For example, instead of asking: "What did you do yesterday?" Try saying: "I went to the movie theater last night." Telling them about your recent activity instead of asking them about theirs will give them the opportunity to comment and engage in conversation instead of feeling flustered. 3. Bear with repetitiveness. If you spend time with someone affected by Alzheimer's, you're probably familiar with the routine of repeated thoughts. Dr. Cail suggests finding something else that can occupy your attention but that also allows you to be involved and make eye contact. For example: cooking, knitting or folding clothes. Dr. Cail's book includes Conversation Guides to help with such situations. No correcting, she says, no contradiction. Just go along with the conversation as it unfolds. 4. Do listen, don't advise. "Why don't you just try this?!" These kinds of misguided suggestions can be frustrating to caregivers. The most comforting help is a friend who simply listens. 5. See the person you have always loved. Help yourself and your loved ones not to lose sight of the person you're caring for. Dr. Cail encourages friends to be keepers of memories. As a friend, she says, you do the remembering. All in all, Dr. Cail's book is about being a friend. It isn't hard. It's doesn't take a lot of time. And you can make a world of difference. To see more from Dr. Cail, please visit her blog: www.allweatherfriend.com/blog Interested in reading the book? Buy it here. |
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